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Website Glossary - On the Lighter Side

'any key': (n) as yet, still unlocated 'key' on keyboard

autoresponder: (n) teenager when told his / her allowance is finite

bonus: (n) file downloaded to hard-disk to collect electronic dust

chip - (n) 1. oft. memory chip, a device that stores electronic data 2. ~ on one's shoulder: a grudge against the computer that just deleted your work files cf: crash below

customer support: (n) 1. endurance excercise 2. councelling services for victims of telephone menu option nightmares 3. autonomous user selp-help groups

crash - (v) 1. something computers do when you have a deadline

domain name - (n) usu. alphanumeric characters that denote the address of a website 2. appellation that requires more research than children's names

host - (n) 1. a server where you 'store' your website cf. hosting company, 2. husband/father who discovers an imbalance between paying the bills and the respect he receives

remote - (n) 1. usually a computer or a server that is located some distance away or off-site:  2. a bit like the spouse after a few years

server -(n) 1. a computer that holds data (your website for example) that is accessible by other people 24/7: 2. parents to teenagers

upload - (vt) 1. send data to a server 2. burden a friend with your worries

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